Summer Homework
by Charlotte Thompson
Summary: A collaboration of one shots about Rocky Horror characters and their summer work in high school. Because even Frank N Furter is freaked out by impending AP Chem.
1. Background

**Opinions on Summer Work: Rocky Horror**

**Background**

**I want am one of the many high schoolers plagued by the work that teachers expect us to do over the summer. I am going to be a senior and going to take three AP classes. It is a lot of work. What makes teachers think we are going to have fun and read three books, do a math packet, and relearn an entire course over the summer? I was writing about how Brad and Frank from Rocky Horror would do in high school anyways so then, while I was trying to figure out how the frack I was supposed to factor something, I thought of how Frank or Brad would do. I am not really assigning a date to it, but the only school system will not run like the 60's or 70's because all I know is summer homework and AP classes (college classes in high school) being fairly common. So here is the result. Enjoy!**


	2. Frank and Columbia

Columbia sat on Frank's desk. "Frankie, can't just wait until the last minute like everyone else to do your summer work?" She asked, sitting on his desk.

"I am going to be in AP Chemistry next year, Columbia. One cannot simply walk into that class blind." Frank responded, balancing a combustion equation while he talked.

"But you are a super genius in Chemistry! You took AP Biology last year and got a 5. I wouldn't doubt you could make a person by now!" Columbia pried.

He looked up from his homework. "Columbia, I would need a doctorate before even _thinking_ about creating life." He answered, returning to his problem. "Plus aren't you supposed to be reading Frankenstein?" He asked.

"Why do you think I keep prying for you to make a human?" Columbia asked.

He rolled his eyes at her. "It took Frankenstein two years to get the all parts and sew them together, and you have to have read that book in two weeks. Plus you know I have been trying to live the whole Frankenstein thing down ever since the hot dog thing got old." He answered.

"Well you could still try!" Columbia exclaimed.

"But then I wouldn't have time to study for the test I am having the second day of class." Frank countered. "So you are still reading the book." He clarified.

Columbia sat in his lap. "Don't you want to have fun this summer?" She asked.

"I am having fun. I just have to work a little before I can play." Frank answered.

Columbia rolled her eyes and kissed him. "_Now_ can chemistry wait?" Frank nodded, as Columbia fiercely made out with him.


	3. Brad, Janet, Ralph and Betty

**I know I never write author's notes and now two in one story, but if you haven't read (or seen the movie)** **_One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest_****, you can still understand this. Chief Bromden is a paranoid schizophrenic, so in an effort to not really be noticed, he pretends he is deaf and dumb. I am not sure if the fog is in the movie, but if it isn't, when Janet is asking about the fog machine, this is because the dumb slut doesn't recognize it is Bromden describing a delusion. It is a metaphor, which Betty explains. RP McMurphy is the rabble-rouser who is trying to take over Nurse Ratched's ward, so many characters pick a side. Nurse Ratched is not the one who dies. And if you are living life thinking Gatsby has a happy ending and Huck Finn is a sellout, you should start actually READING the classics assigned to you.**

Brad was sitting reading _One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest_ while complaining about it. "Why doesn't Chief Bromden just talk? I mean come ON! He's already a paranoid schizophrenic and is sane enough to write this story." Chief Bromden had, of course written his story in the past, and obviously Brad did not sympathize with what Bromden had to put up with.

Janet asked, "Since when does the mental hospital have a fog machine?" She obviously didn't understand the fog metaphor relating to the people who believed in McMurphy and these who didn't.

Betty rolled her eyes. "Janet, it is his schizophrenia. It is a metaphor for the people who still believe Nurse Ratched should be in charge. Brad paranoia is not like a cold, you can't just sneeze it away." Brad rolled his eyes returning to the book. Betty pointed out "It isn't my fault you have no empathy."

Ralph gave Betty a look. Betty gave a vicious smile back. Ralph gulped. "I just read the ending." He admitted.

"Is it actually interesting?" Brad asked. Ralph was holding back tears.

"It is so sad!" He exclaimed.

Betty hugged her boyfriend. "I know." She whispered. Brad heard her and scrunched his eyebrows.

"How do you know what happened?" Brad asked.

"_I_, unlike _you_, finished the book last Tuesday." Betty answered. Brad opened his mouth in an attempt to gain a cheating mechanism but she said "And you have to feel your own pain and read your own goddamn book."

Brad relaxed his facial muscles and returned to the book. He grew more attached as Bromden and McMurphy's relationship grew. He started to feel more drawn to the book. Towards the end he was dedicated to those two and would fight for McMurphy to the death. Then he read the ending. Even _his_ eyes welled up with tears. He leaned on Janet's shoulder and cried.

"What is the matter Brad, darling?" She asked.

"THAT ENDING!" Brad yelled into her shoulder.

"What ending? They are on the fishing trip with a girl who has a stripper name. It can't get worse can it?" Janet asked.

Brad looked up at her forlornly. Ralph looked at her like she was insane. Betty nodded. "Yes, Janet, it gets _much_ worse."

"Then you can just _tell_ me right?" She asked.

"No. There is a bond you have to make with these characters." Brad pointed out.

"But just tell me. I mean I heard how Gatsby lives happily ever after with Daisy and how Huck Finn gives up Jim, respecting the law." Janet answered.

There was a mutual sigh between Brad, Betty and Ralph. Ralph motioned to her to come closer. Betty sighed. Ralph whispered the whole thing in her ear. She started bawling.

"Did you tell her the right ending?" Betty asked.

"NURSE RATCHED WHY DID YOU DIE?" She exclaimed. Brad couldn't help but smile knowingly. Ralph shook his head at Betty.

"Oh Ralph I wish you wrote the ending." Betty whispered in his ear. They started laughing a little bit.

"Why are you laughing? It is sad!" Janet exclaimed. Everyone just kept laughing.


	4. Riffraff and Magenta

Magenta and Riffraff were making out in his room. Riffraff paused and asked. "Shouldn't we be doing work for school? I mean we go back tomorrow."

"Riffraff, ze whole house is empty except for Frank and Columbia! I vant incest!"

"Good, we have to read the most incestuous story known to man, Oedipus the King."

"Didn't ve read zat in ninth grade?"

"They want us to read it again."

"Vell I know vhat happens. He gets left for death by his parents and winds up marrying and screwing vith his mother." Magenta answered.

Riffraff tossed the book off of his nightstand as they continued to make out.


End file.
